HELLOOOO...ANYBODY THERE?

surprise surprise, look who's back? ;p

well, i didn't go anywhere, really. i've just been bogged down with all sorts. not that it's a valid excuse but it's scary how life just passes by and before one knows it, it's been five months since the last blog post! honestly, if you were to ask me what i've been up too, i wouldn't even know how to respond and that's the scary part because i haven't been up to much and yet i have. does that make any sense whatsoever? sigh...let me attempt to fill you in...if you're still up for reading my blog...

having recently left the pr world of kl's hospitality industry, izreen is now on a soul searching mission to uncover her life purpose and rediscover her passions. 

and that's how the fancy-schmancy official statement would have read if there ever was one! as mentioned here and here, i finally took the plunge and tendered my resignation. it's been five months since my last day of work and i've loved every minute of it. the honest truth is i've just been going with the flow; taking in one day at a time, enjoying the simple pleasures of my life as it is right now. when i say simple, i really mean simple ie school runs, long lunches, mindless reading, afternoon naps, week day shopping etc etc etc ;)

before i resigned however, i did promise to spend the first few months of unemployment figuring out what was next for me. i vowed to work out a proper business plan to make sure i was headed in the right direction as at that time, mel and i were just taking in any order that came along, whether it was for parties, cookies, cupcakes, party packs and so on. but alas, things don't always go as planned. in my defense, i did a wee bit of research here and there but before i had made any real progress, zain & i made an even bigger commitment...we bought our very first property! 

and so we agreed that from now until we make the big move, my main focus was to be our brand new home. as excited as i was to take up a new project, it was with a heavy heart that i decided to stop taking orders for both parties and baking. it just wasn't fair to commit to others when i myself was uncertain of my direction in life. of course, being in between a half packed-up home and an empty one, wasn't exactly the most conducive and convenient environment to work in ;O 

ironically, the moment i announce to the universe that i'm taking a break, i get enquiries every other day! i sincerely do apologise to every single person who's request and orders i've had to turn down but really, it is for the best given the circumstances...

so now, i have two to three months to design, renovate, decorate and move...daunting! but oh so exciting ;)

i'll keep you posted on our house project as we go along and i'll also bring this blog up to date with the last few parties we organised. so do stick around...i promise you i will...

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM...

as i count the days towards the end of an era (well, my days in full time employment to be precise), i find myself looking fwd to the simplest in things like taking ilaika to ballet classes, baking in the day, reading a book and cooking family dinners...(god knows it's been ages since i did the last two!)

for someone who has had her whole life planned out every step of the way, this is an odd and unfamiliar territory and a lil daunting too, these emotions i'm experiencing...and yet i welcome them with open arms. for the first time in my life, i have nothing concrete planned for the near future. the only plan that's certain is the impending last day at work. beyond that, only time will tell...

the world is my oyster i suppose. am looking forward to doing nothing and everything ;) there's so much that i'd like to do and there's no better time than now. 

perhaps tho, in the first month of unemployment, i might just indulge in being a taitai...!

for those close to me, they know only too well that i've been dreaming of this little dream for a long long time, years even! hence it was fitting that zain gave me this lovely tiffany notes pendant for my birthday...yes, it's my birthday ;)

dream a little dream? yes, perhaps it is time to live MY little dream...

life, love and work...

Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite...

...Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing;

And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

- Kahlil Gibran on Reason and Passion -

...or not to be?

Today was the first day since I started this “new job” that I actually spent the whole day doing housewifey things. To begin with, I woke up early, made sure the house was clean, sorted out the laundry and ironing, did the groceries and after lunch, started cooking for hubby’s dinner! And in between all that, I even managed to squeeze in a manicure and pedicure :)

Without a doubt, close friends and hubby will be bound to raise an eyebrow or two at this over-achievement in domestication. So yes, I have to admit – I cheated…somewhat. Tiny little factor that I left out – my part-time magic wand, also known as “the maid”! She did the cleaning, laundry and ironing. I just instructed. However, I did do the groceries (with the maid pushing the cart and carrying the bags) and I did cook the dinner (with the maid chopping and cleaning). Hey, there’s no crime in having much-appreciated help!

So – is taitai-dom really for me? Well, only if according to the definition in my previous entry, with the essentials being:

1. the presence of a maid (to do all the nitty gritty chores – which taitai in her right mind would risk ruining her perfectly painted French manicure?), and of course,
2. a considerable amount of wealth (to maintain and service those oh-so-delicate nails, amongst other luxurious necessities!).

Seeing as I’ve only got one out of these two essentials, it looks like it’ll be some time more before I graduate to become a professional in this “career”! For now, I’ll be happy appreciating the once in a blue moon indulgences like today.

Having said that however, there is a part of me that fears the effects on one’s brain after too much inactivity and disconnection from the “real world”. I actually know a taitai that has so much time and money, that she has spent the past year renovating her new house. It’s still nowhere near completion, as she can’t decide how she’d like her house to be i.e. she’s changed interior decorators three times and painted the walls four different colours! As Ennius, the father of Roman poetry wrote, “the idle mind knows not what it wants”. Indecision is probably the least to be feared. Imagine what else could happen…

Another problem with taitai-dom as we know it, is that it contradicts one of the principles I’ve stuck to all these years – that in a relationship, no one person should be financially dependent on the other.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no women’s lib activist. I just believe that we should always be ready for the surprises that life throws our way and as we all know, they come in all sorts of unfathomable “shapes and sizes”.

In other words, I’d like the cake and eat it too. After all, what is the cake for if not to eat?! So now begins the quest to attain the nirvana of “financial freedom cum taitai-dom”…

to be...

It has been exactly a month and a half since I’ve taken time off real work and started my probationary “new job” of being a taitai. One of the “KPIs” I’ve set is to clear all old junk in anticipation of the “promotion” ahead i.e. baby and a “new” life called mummyhood. One of the sub-tasks involves deleting old emails no longer needed.

I’d like to share this email I wrote to some close friends back in my singleton days, a couple of years ago (yes, it’s amazing how far back my emails go!!) :

all these years of studying, keeping myself busy and trying to achieve so much hasn't really brought with it the satisfaction i thought it would. i guess what it really boils down to is me being embarrassed to say that at the end of the day, all i really want deep down is to have a hunk of a devoted husband, be a good wife, be a loving mother and just laze about all day - going shopping, taking up photography, travelling, reading etc. and doing all the so-called mundane stuff like pick up the dry-cleaning, do the groceries, take the kids to school etc.

some people call it a housewife, others prefer to call it 'woman of leisure'. the article below calls it tai tai.

you see, more than ever now, the struggle in this vicious rat race just doesn't appeal to me at all. so whatever you may call it, yes that's what i wanna be and though some may still say it's sad, i'm no longer embarrassed to say that!

...read on and i'm pretty sure some of you'll agree with me....sigh...

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The last 100 years have been golden ones for the female sex really. During that span of time we got the vote, got the right to go to schools and added university degrees and Oxford PhDs to the list of 'Women Can Do' without slaughtering, maiming or killing anybody.

Well, okay ... maybe a bit of illegal protesting and bra burning. Lately, we've chalked up more milestones in the business world as Hewlett Packard became the first big name tech player to appoint a woman CEO and according to news reports, more than 27% of new businesses being launched are being headed by women.

The result of all this history is that women of today's generation have grown up with strong ideas about being career women. In secondary school canteens, we dreamt of careers as lawyers, accountants and engineers, earning pots of money and somewhere along the way, meeting the suitably qualified tertiary educated Prince Charming who drove a nice middle class car.

The thought of becoming a housewife was filed away under 'Stupid Harebrained Things Which Only Dumb Females Consider Doing'. Five years, a university degree and a couple of years working experience later, some of us are finding that gulp, we take it all back. Really...all we want is to be tai-tais...

The truth is that working is a drudgery. Having a boss is like having PMS except it's every working day of the week (and that's 5 days a week x 4 weeks a month x 12 months a year).

Nine to five hours are a miserable experience. Paperwork is asinine, endless and sometimes, verges on pointlessness. And oh yes, finding new ways to be idle without being caught probably should be national employee pastime No 1.

For gifts last year, we gave each other copies of Dilbert's The Joy of Work for laughs. Bringing home the bacon doesn't have a magical satisfying feel any more because you're too tired and brain dead to even contemplate frying it yourself.

You consider throwing yourself into your work and becoming one of those amazing females who makes the cover of Women @ Work but decide after taking into consideration the total loss of personal time, absolute lack of a social life and general all round hard work you need to do to achieve that goal, coupled with the glass ceiling factor, finding a good husband who will bring home not just bacon but the whole damned pig seems the easier and faster road to good times.

Longing for tai-taidom doesn't mean swapping the university parchment for the 'same drudgery, different context' of housework and brood-rearing. Tai-taidom is about having a maid tackle all those tiresome chores and going out to coffee, high tea and shopping with your schoolmates and girlfriends.

It's about gym workouts with a personal trainer, having facials and pamper sessions at the masseuse.

It's being able to go on a vacation at the drop of a hat without having to apply for leave, wait for it to be approved and then have your boss whine about how it's a bad time to be taking time off.

Tai-taidom doesn't have to be dull either.

After all, as a lady of leisure, you will have time to undertake all the hobbies, interests and skill improvements that you always wanted to do but never had the time or money to. Read all those books you meant to read all those years ago but never found the time. Travel and see the world. Learn how to sing, play a musical instrument - write a sex and shopping novel.

Tai-taidom is the chance to discover and exploit your hidden talents and well, find self-improvement. Take typing classes.

Wait a second – weren't these the sort of exploits of gentile young ladies of the Elizabethan 18th Century? The play a musical instrument and learn how to sing is almost straight out of the pages of Jane Austen's books isn't it?

Tai-taidom is a step backwards for women surely? (Elizabeth Candy Staunton would be rolling in a grave over this one, you think?)

Yes and no.

Modern tai-tais have probably got it much better since corsets were condemned and well, Elizabeth Bennett would certainly have appreciated having the vote and being given the chance to go to university and as well as marry Mr Darcy and be lady of leisure at some large house with sprawling grounds.

Modern tai-tais aren't tai-tais by virtue of their gender or because they can't be anything else - they're tai-tais by choice.

And being a tai-tai doesn't mean all the equality we fought for and the right to sit at the table and express your views while pounding the table with your immaculately manicured nails just vanishes overnight.

Rather, it's having the best of both types of worlds that women have experienced.

Which brings us of course to the one fly in the whole becoming a tai-tai ointment. Alas, achieving tai-taidom is somewhat a more tenuous uphill task.

If you thought winning the vote was a toughie, wait till you get to finding a decent good husband who makes enough money for you to live the life of a tai-tai. Need we repeat again how good men are hard to find? Even the cads and bounders are hard to come by these days. Tai-taidom is an elusive fairy tale ending that like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, is the exception rather than the rule.

The moral of the story at the end of the day? Screw the knight in shining armour or liberated sensitive new age man - just gimme a husband who can afford to keep me in the style and manner in which I would like to be accustomed to...and I will cook all his meals and let him put up his feet when he comes home...

Tai-taidom, here I come!

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oops...! i did it again!

I did, didn’t I? I started the blog and then I abandoned it...again! I sense an unhealthy pattern going on here. My only saving grace being with each attempt, I get further than the previous attempt. And I say that with my fingers crossed.

It has been two months since my first and last blog! And silly me did not even know that so many people had left comments! Oops! Isn’t Friendster supposed to notify me when someone leaves a comment?? I guess not. Aaanyways, thank you soooo much for all those comments. If only I’d read them sooner! Now that I’ve read them, I definitely want to write more. For starters:

Luqman – Godfather huh? Only if you promise to cook gourmet meals for me all the time (you still owe me one)…and also fancy hors d'oeuvres for the baby’s birthday bashes!
Moe – Yes, BOYS will always be BOYS! And yes, we’ve come a long way from those basic days, haven’t we?! Must catch up when you come back – you can be cool Uncle Moe!
Jo – With reference to the “very the ong” name, I’m not sure I’d be too happy to see my baby follow in his namesake’s footsteps – all dressed in speedos and performing ballet (what on earth were you thinking??) but thanks for the thought dear!
Mrika – Thanks for the note of support – will message you separately i.e. the gynae matters ;)
Adeline, Lyn & Izan – Thank you for the well wishes!

And back to the current blog – it is with great delight and shameless glee, that I inform you that I am now officially on “extended leave” until I pop in March, at which time I will have 2 months maternity leave. All in all, that’s close to half a year off work – yay! (Farez, if you’re reading this, sorry to steal your thunder :p on the bright side, yours is paid leave and a well deserved one too…congrats on the awards!)

So here’s a great big welcome to taitaidom…
(Zain, please don’t cringe!)